I love this place, but its haunted without you.

I went to sleep happy last night. Cory called me dear. That always makes me smile. He is such an amazing friend. I wish he thought more of me that way, but I'm fine just being his friend.

We want to go down to New Orleans in April. :)

BOURBON STREET!!! Haha. ;) Nahh, but I doubt that I'll be able to.. oh well. I'm going to get him to come down for the weekend and spend it in Yazoo.

I thought I was over Jerk Face...but I don't know anymore. Its still so hard... yesterday I went to go see the school play he was in--Grease-- and to see him in a leather jacket with his hair gelled spikey..made my heart skip a beat. Especially with the dark sunglasses on. Then he was dancin with Macy Saxton, Ka'Raye Pickens, and Katie Ekes. His hands on their waists. Ugh. It made me hurt.

I know its still a play, but still. Cory is such a good friend to listen to me rant about him. He understands I think. But even if he doesn't, he listens and offers advice.

Its nice.

One week till Honduras. :)

why me?

why are things always like this for me? i finally get over one guy in my life that i liked for 7 1/2 years..then i get close to someone else. we talk every day of the week, or basically every day. then something happens, like a car accident with a mutual friend. my best friend. for him to realize that he DOES have feelings for her. and will act on them too.

i thought that we might have had something. guess i was wrong.

Your Guardian Angel.

When I see your smile


Tears run down my face


I can't replace


And now that I'm strong I have figured out


How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul


And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one


I will never let you fall(let you fall)I'll stand up with you forever


I'll be there for you through it all(though it all)


Even if saving you sends me to heaven


It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.


Seasons are changing


And waves are crashing


And stars are falling all for us


Days grow longer and nights grow shorter


I can show you I'll be the one


I will never let you fall (let you fall)


I'll stand up with you forever


I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)


Even if saving you sends me to heaven


Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart


Please don't throw that away


Cuz I'm here for you


Please don't walk away and


Please tell me you'll stay, stay


Use me as you will


Pull my strings just for a thrill


And I know I'll be okay


Though my skies are turning gray


I will never let you fall


I'll stand up with you forever


I'll be there for you through it all


Even if saving you sends me to heaven.





This song means so much to me. I can't describe how it makes me feel towards a certain person... that person already means so much to me.. It's crazy and confusing. He sends mixed feelings...like we've texted all week. The last night (he was drunk though) he said that girls are trouble. I asked why we were trouble and he said just to look at relationships...then he said what if he dated my best friend. And apparently he likes her..or I don't know! He was very confusing on that subject.

BUTT we were talkin about chocolate cake. (go figure, we talk bout food) Then I said somethin about cookies from barnes and noble and he said, "Or, uh making....out? I'm sorry. I completely lost my train of thought." Woww. Then further in the night, he was sayin "Lovely." I asked him what was lovely and he said you are!

I think he was drunk. Pretty sure he was. This guy is gonna drive me crazyy with flirtin with me, then sayin somethin else..hm.

He is makin me CD's :) and comin to the conference tonight...which means we can share a blanket. ^_^. That reminds me, I need to check on the conference part. Haaha. Gonna see if he texts me today and see if he wants to come down earlier than the conference and play Bioshock, then we can follow Katie up there and not have to listen to country!!! We don't like country. Not at all. I can handle some Taylor Swift, but I have to be in the mood for it. Haaha.

ungrounded at last!!

ahhh. the sweet feeling of freedom :)

i just got ungrounded today. i'm so excited. i'm watching the boys play xbox and listening to the thunder.

french toast for dinner tonight!!! yay!! :)

i gots a new phone ^^ a samsung freeform. it is soooo awesome!!

sixteenth birthday coming up quickly!!! hopefully i'll get some new furnature for my room!! a full bed a new chiffarobe, chest of drawers, shelves on my wall instead of a bookshelf. the theme is a modern/zen.

wonderfulll :)

my life sucks

my life sucks. it absolutely sucks.

i'm losing one of my best friends over stupid roleplay.

i don't really fit in at church. sure there may be an improvement, but still.

i jsut wanna leave it all. just leave. i wish i could just escape. i don't know where i would go, but i would go somewhere. somewhere out of mississippi, away from all the trouble, all the drama.

the new roleplay was a stupid idea. it was too early from the last big arguement, and thats all that comes out of it it seems like. is argueing. we always have a problem with something no matter what. then something really little turns into something huge. its always how it works. maybe we just need to take a break. a long break.

i just need to get away. i just need to.

i'm in trouble i'm an addict

ugh..i'm so sleepyy sleepy sleepy sleepy!!! right now i'm sitting on the couch at the grey's watching secret life of bees, yawning away, laughin at elijah and playin special forces :)

hmm

long day today, long day tommorow.

ahhhh. today was a long day. i'm worn out. i need to sleep for about a day and a half. but i can't. :'( but i can't so oh well. right now i am in the bed with a sweatshirt and warm pants on..and ms. kitty in my lap!! i just got finished watching part one of episode one of the bachelor. jake is hotttttttt. very very very hot. and hes a christian too! he was talkin about his top three priorities and they were in this exact order, god, family and friends.

well anyyways. i can't wait for the weekend!! can't wait can't wait can't wait. sleep inn!!! ohh that'll feel soo good!! lol. maybeeee i can come to church wif da grey's! that would be so much fun!! i wouldn't be able to wear one of my new dresses, but that would be ok! lol. i could wear my new sweater....

hope can read harry potter!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. i read that article about how to get up early..very interesting. so. i think we need to have a movie day, go to the theaters and watch avatar and sherlock holmes!! :) that would be so much fun. or we need to have a movie night and rent a ton of movies and watch em all...and play xbox :)

is anybody else behind in their story for this month? i know i am. lol. i'm just so busy and can't find time to write. well i have time but by the time i get to it, i'm so tired i can hardly thing straight let alone write. lol. bad excuse. well at least i'm going to try to write a short story each week until my birfday!!

i'll need ideas...so ya'll will be my plot bunnies!! lol.

mission trip meeting tommorow. i completely forgot about it. completely... :'(

i need to go to bed. really really bad.
love ya'll!!!
bek

its a rainy wet day!

ahh i love days like this, with our fire going and a blanket, cup of tea, and two amazing books!! emma and the collection of edgar allan poe :) guitar lesson today, joy joy joy. no piano, mrs. sykes is sick :( sad for her, but not for me!! lol. i didn't wanna do piano today anyways.

i have to clean out my dresser today...heehe. if i don't come on the internet, the clothes have attacked me. :P

i got a bunch of books friday night :)

pride and prejudice and zombies
sense and sensibility and sea monsters
the stone of tears
sherlock holmes volumes 1 and 2 (Which is all of them)
edgar allan poe collection
jessica's guide to dating on the dark side

and a pack of moleskin journals :) to replace....*cough* that other journal...now the only thing i need is a planner for this year! :) mom i think is gunna get that one on thursday when she goes to jackson.

my vintage style according to seventeen

original stunner::

you're the type of girl that can make a prom dress out of bubble wrap and everyone envies it! your style is always edgy but its your creativity and flair for the unexpected that makes you truly one of a kind.

new blog...yet again...

ok, i know i've been changing blogs for a while now, but i think i'm going to keep this one for a while, or at least i hope so!!

lol.

this is a new year, and the new year means new changes!! :)